Through my life thus far, one of the things I’m grateful for is relationship with older, wiser women. As it is with many of God’s gifts, He knows what I need when I can’t even articulate it. Often I don’t even know what I need, and yet He gives me his best, even when I don’t ask for it. This is true with the few older women who have taken me under their wing for a season. They have poured into me from the richness of decades of walking with Jesus. Long before I met my husband, I was showered with jewels from the marriage treasure chest of one such woman, who had mined them in the decades of her own marriage: how important forgiveness is, some keys to a healthy sexual relationship with your husband, why respect is such a big deal, and many more. Another gift of a woman has helped me navigate significant conflict, parenting struggles, the power of prayer, and shown me what it looks like to be Jesus’ witnesses wherever we go. My mother has been one such woman as well, showing me the value of a soft heart to the Lord and perseverance through trials.

I could elaborate on these lessons for another few hours. The point I want to make is this: all the older women I have aspired to be like, who have the kind of character I want, who live imperfectly, yes, and also honorably, boldly, humbly, sacrificially, with faith, joy, love and purpose, the kind of women you want to follow around and ask them questions because good things spill out of them every time they talk to you, all those women I have had the pleasure to meet have one significant thing in common. They are women of God’s word. They have spent decades of time growing in their understanding and grasp of Scripture. I don’t mean the type of legalist who reads her Bible because “it’s the right thing to do”. To be real, they certainly have had their seasons of dryness in their walk with God. However, it’s not only habit or duty with these women. No, these women are saturated with God’s word because hearing His voice and being with him is their life and breath. They love their God, and so they spend time with Him. They want to listen to Him. They have grown to depend on Him to the point where His words are more precious to them than fine gold. Though there are multiple ways God speaks, the most clear way He does is through His words – the Bible. These sages, these wise women know this. They memorize His words. They think about them. They study them. They hear God speaking to them because they’ve spent decades listening to Him. And they don’t only listen; they obey. God’s words are their ultimate authority. I see it in their lives. When they come to a part of Scripture that really presses them the wrong way, they don’t skip past it or ignore it and move on. They don’t say, “Well, I know God’s right, but I don’t like it, so I’m doing it my own way”. No, they stay there and ask God to teach them and shape them. They bring their struggle with that particular verse or idea to God. They let God use His word to work on their hearts and change them. They have done and are doing the hard work of submitting to God when it’s hard. You see the results of this dedication over time. When they are approached by others (like me) who are lost, confused, struggling and seeking counsel, they give wise and good counsel because it’s not theirs; it’s God’s. They pass it on, because they’ve come to know how trustworthy and precious His words and truth are.

The concept is so simple: the more you spend time with someone or something, the more of an expert we are on that person or that topic. It’s how we learn. It’s how we grow. How many of us Christians are experts on our favorite topic, and fledglings in our faith? If we were to catalogue our thoughts and meditations during the day, of what or who are we becoming an expert? On what do we meditate? Who do we pursue? How do we spend our time?

At the end of the day, there is grace for us. We’ve all fallen short and used our time poorly. We can always and will always have opportunities to grow in our relationship with God our Father, Jesus, and His Holy Spirit. God knows this, too, and He extends us grace. This grace is one that both cleanses us from our unrighteousness, covers us in Jesus’ righteousness, and purifies our desires to help us change now. It’s not continual forgiveness and cleansing so we can continue in sin or poor choices. God gives us grace that transforms death to life. Romans 8:11 hit home to me years ago when I felt I was stuck in my sinful habits: “If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead lives in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.”

The power to change is not ours. It’s the Spirit of God who brought Jesus from death to life. He can easily transform any heart from apathetic, lukewarm, or flat-out rebellious to one of humility, repentance, and passionate love for God. After all, He’s the one who loves us “with a never-stopping, never giving up, unbreaking, always and forever love” (Jesus Storybook Bible by Sally Lloyd-Jones).

That’s what I have loved about getting to know these women. They don’t look like the world. They look like Jesus. It may take decades for us to resemble him in that way, to become a sage in the ways of God. That’s okay. Why not start now? Do we have something better to do?