I love talking with my friends who are in the fire. When I hear a friend who is struggling through something hard, I want to come alongside her and help in whatever way I can. In all honesty, also, my ears perk up, and I am eager to hear from them, because I have experienced that through struggle and suffering come lessons, wisdom, intimacy with God; these nuggets of gold that can only be found in the Land of Trial.

I think of the song, “It Is Well” by Horatio Spafford. Written after a tremendously painful loss of his 4 daughters (after the death of his son and a great financial loss in the previous years), that song has been of significant encouragement to Christians who are suffering. That could not have been written unless he had gone through such devastation.

I think of a friend of mine, a wiser older woman who recently shared story after story of God saving people and being at work in her own heart: “Through this last year of trials and pain, I saw God at work in a way I simply would never have seen had I not been in the fire.”

It all sounds good until you’re in the fire yourself.

I’ve been in a pit of darkness for months now, and there’s no sign of it ending. Every day it feels much easier to give up than to keep going. Sometimes getting out of bed is the biggest victory I have to celebrate. Often I am overwhelmed by my circumstances and feelings of despair. And it just doesn’t stop.

Now what? Shall I read a few more inspirational quotes? Another devotional? More of God’s truths that I know I should believe? I’ve asked for prayer. I’ve reached out to friends. I’m reading my Bible every morning. I’m praying as I’m able to. I’m going to church and community group. I’m doing what I know to do, and the darkness just doesn’t lift. Death and isolation and brokenness and pain and deep sorrow seem to be my constant companion. I don’t understand the darkness.

Yet in my darkness, I have hope. From the pit that I have desperately been trying to escape for months, I know I am not alone, and never have been. I am more aware of God’s presence with me than I ever have been. And almost every day, I have heard God telling me, “It’s okay that you are struggling.” He’s been telling me that I need to stop trying to escape the darkness, but cling to Him in it, because He is working in my suffering.

So from the pit, I want to share something God has been putting in my heart. To my friends who I know are struggling, I hope this is encouraging to you. Here’s one of my “nuggets of gold” from the Land of Trial.

God, whatever the purpose, whatever the reason, you foresaw today and you said yes to all my circumstances. Just like you said yes to Noah’s years of building an ark in a desert among scoffing of the people around him. Like you said yes to Abraham & Sarah’s life of infertility. Like you said yes to Joseph’s years of slavery and wrongful treatment. Like you said yes to Jeremiah’s life of obedience to your word causing him persecution and suffering. Like you said yes to David’s years of being pursued by Saul intent on killing  him after you had him anointed as the new king of Israel. Like you said yes to Job’s children, household, and livelihood being wiped out in a day, followed soon by his health. Like you said yes to Lazarus dying. Like you said yes to Jesus’ suffering.

It is in our fleshly nature to focus on the suffering, to get tunnel vision on what’s painful at the time. In our tunnel vision, we tend to do two extremes: 1. seek only to escape it, to make the pain stop as soon as possible, or 2. we tend to wallow in it, focusing on how we feel, what we need, how awful it is for us. I’ve done both often in the last few months. I understand. Yet the more I read my Bible, the more God is opening my eyes to see suffering in the context of the greater story He has revealed in Scripture and is continuing to write in our lives. Sin, death, destruction, wrong, and suffering feel like they have the upper hand. However, because of Jesus perfection, life, death, and resurrection from the dead, all sin and suffering are bent to do God’s will in the life of the believer. Romans 8:28 – one of the most comforting promises of God given to us this side of heaven: “And we know that for those who love God, all things work together for good , for those who are called according to his purpose.” All things, friends! All evil! All suffering! All death! All wrong-doing! Consider the people referenced above. They have gone before us, their lives written down in God’s word for us. Consider their suffering, and since we have the benefit of knowing more of the story, consider also the result of their suffering. Abraham & Sarah had no idea why they couldn’t have children, why Sarah had to bear so much reproach for not being able to conceive, why they had no heir and no children to care for them in their old age. Yet now we know that God intended it. He intended Sarah to be well past menopause, physically unable to have children, with Abraham so old. God waited until it was abundantly clear that Abraham and Sarah could not have children themselves. They could not do it. God intended their circumstances and years of suffering to set up a pivotal, incredibly vital display of His glory through His story of redemption. With Abraham and Sarah’s infertility came the child of the promise: Isaac. Through Isaac shall your offspring be named. Through Isaac will come Jesus. Through Isaac will all the families of the earth be blessed. Through Isaac the Gentiles will come to believe and be saved into God’s family. None of that would have happened had not Abraham and Sarah been able to conceive by natural means. Their years of suffering and sadness were the impetus of God’s saving glory being known to the whole world.

I see it most clearly with Jesus. The ultimate worst evil, killing the perfect Son of God, was the exact way God meant to save us. It’s like God is creating the most beautiful piece of art, and every disgusting, awful, horrendous piece of garbage Satan throws at it, God takes and uses to make His piece of art look even more beautiful than we could ever have imagined. And it’s not a reaction on God’s part. God is not reacting to evil; He is orchestrating it. Satan is under God’s authority. He can do nothing without God’s permission. God is using the evil that He never brought into this world to accomplish His purpose and will, and it is glorious. He has been doing this since Genesis 3, and He will continue to do so until Jesus comes again in glory. He is doing it in my life, and He’s doing it in yours. Take heart, friend. He is using the evil in your life for your good and His glory.

Now, I want to end on the story of Lazarus. I’m sure you know it. Jesus was good friends with Lazarus and his sisters, Mary & Martha. He received word that Lazarus was sick and near death. Instead of rushing to be with him, Jesus stayed where he was a few more days. Seemingly unfeeling at the time, we know from the Word that Jesus wasn’t ignoring His friends. He was staying to ensure Lazarus had died before coming. He knew He would do something greater than healing Lazarus. He would raise him from the dead. He knew God’s glory was going to be shown and people would believe and be saved. He knew Mary and Martha would soon be rejoicing. He knew. And He stayed where He was. He let Lazarus die, because He had something better in mind.

When Jesus finally came to Lazarus’ tomb, He wept. He knew what He was about to do. He knew He had the upper hand over death. He knew tears would be turned to gladness in moments. Yet He wept. Friend, it shows no lack of faith in God as you weep through your trials and sorrows. Jesus did it. You, too, are free to weep. I am free to weep. This life is so hard, and no one knows that better than our Savior. To my church, to those of you who, like me, are in a pit and can’t see the way forward, it’s okay to weep. It’s okay to have a hard time. It’s okay to grieve. Cry with Jesus. Your tears will be turned to joy one day, but it’s still okay to cry. And a quick word to those of you who want to come alongside your grieving, struggling friends: let them cry. Cry with them. Be with them. Say nothing if you don’t know what to say. Just show up. Be present. They may not need any reminding about God’s truth at that moment. It’s not that you never share God’s truths with them, but too often we share a verse or a truth because we’re uncomfortable with their pain and don’t know how to sit with them in it, so, with good intentions, we try to rescue them from it. They may not need to be rescued from their pit. Right now, they may simply need to weep. Like Jesus wept.